gah

Someone just “pressured” me (didn’t really, but I felt pressured) into sending a video where I just say “hi how are you” and it took so many takes because I just couldn’t. That’s what my social anxiety is like. I mean I can say hi to people irl just fine but making and sending that video took so much out of me. How is there any hope…I don’t even have a distinct laughter. In that I laugh silently, making no noice. I’m just programmed to not draw attention to myself and to be quiet.

I eventually sent a take, hating the take and feeling embarassed and maybe even traumatized by it. I need to open a window, I’m so hot. What the fuck is wrong with me

 

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