I just realized…if I hadn’t dropped out of college in Denver, I would be in my last semester, now. I’d graduate this summer. It’s been that long O.o
Not really proud of what I’ve done with all that time (nothing).
I really wish I could have stayed. I need to live in America. Colorado would be fine, it has a lot of flaws, but it has a lot of cool stuff, too. Like Boulder 🙂
Only way to move to America now is pro forma marriage. Work visas are impossible to get and I’m not doing studies abroad again, not risking more debt if I fail (which I will, because you really do have to write all these papers no matter what you major in, I think).
I’d be happIER just living in the UK, though. Hell, I’d be happier just living in Oslo. But neither is happening anytime soon. And the US is the country I feel a real connection to. The good parts of the culture, the Boulder kind. I love that America. I don’t love the Colorado Springs America, at all. That part of America is why I was so ok with leaving when I did. But I’ve learned to ignore that part and just focus on the Boulder part. That’s where I feel a deep connection, that’s where I could truly feel at home, at least 80%. 100% if I just had a friend, anywhere, who’s on my level, shares the important part of my values and experience and interests (interests as in, not clubbing or hooking up etc. I don’t care if people like tea or not) but I don’t think they exist.
I’m stuck in this frickin town that I’m sick of, in this country I’m sick of. ugh. And I probably have to either spend the next 3 years here, or the rest of my life here.