Thought I’d go see a movie

Alone, of course, as if that needed saying.

I’ve been so ill recently, intense back pain and nausea, that I don’t get to do much, don’t get to the gym or even get up on time. But I really wanted to see Split because it got good reviews and I heard it had a crazy ending that I had to see before it was spoiled. I thought I could make it through the movie if I brought painkillers and put my sweater between the seat and my back like I do with a soft pillow here at home. But no. Spent the movie in excruciating pain and increasing nausea. Couldn’t sit still. I think people on my row (many seats away) were giving me looks. It already looks weird to most people when you go alone to the movies. I picked up all of the movie, though, but I couldn’t enjoy/fully appreciate it.

MRI showed nothing and the physical therapist said my problem/illness/whatever doesn’t behave like a muscular problem. He thinks it’s something else, so he couldn’t help me. He’s supposed to have a talk with my doc (who’s useless and was arrogant. She smiled arrogantly and acted like I was being ridiculous, that I should just let time heal my muscular problem and not talk to her about it) and tell her this. I’ve no hopes for her response, if she even replies to me at all.

I just want to go to the hospital at this point and be put on morphine, sleep and wake up when I’m healed.

I’ve had this since October and it’s only gotten worse. Now the nausea is a daily thing and I throw up daily. It’s triggered by the pain in some way. So sick of this

I’m just gonna pick an old pic I’ve already used for featured image


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