Bday coming up

3 days. I turn 26…26. that’s over half way from 20 to 30. I didn’t get to enjoy 25. 25 sucked. Well, the first few weeks of 25 were pretty great, I got to go to New York and San Francisco and Chicago. And the one week in August when I went to New York again was great too. Other than that, I haven’t really been 25.

Last birthday I got a package from home with a bunch of Norwegian candy. And a birthday card from the RAs at Campus Village (they spelled my name wrong!)

I have been neglecting this blog…not that that’s a big deal since it’s not a very popular blog.

I’m supposed to find something to do with my life but I put it off. I did come up with the idea of taking photography classes, but there aren’t any affordable ones here, at least not until next year. And as for entry level jobs that I could enjoy and wouldn’t involve a job interview (unacceptable) I’m at a loss. And I need to have something to do before I try to start making friends. An answer to the question “what do you do for a living?”.

I should never have left Denver. My god, what a hopeless mess. I feel worthless. Why would anyone want to be friends with me? I’ve got nothing to offer.


4 thoughts on “Bday coming up

  1. Happy Birthday!

    Go do something nice for yourself. I started a tradition for own birthdays of taking 3 days in which I do something nice for someone else, something nice for myself, & let someone else do something nice for me. These tasks don’t have to be in any particular order, but it’s a reminder that you deserve to be appreciated, you deserve to like yourself, & it’s good karma to do good deeds for others. Doing something for someone else doesn’t even have to be for a person. You might help an animal or clean up some trash.

    Could you volunteer somewhere, maybe helping at an animal shelter or food delivery service for older people? That would be a good way to meet people. Being around others who are in need & realizing that you can help them in some way might help you feel better. I know it sounds weird to try to help others when you feel so bad yourself, but it helps me feel better about myself when I can help others in some small way.

    Finding something to do with your life isn’t a deadline thing either. It’s something we do all the time throughout our lives. Don’t worry about what to say if people ask what you do for a living. You can say you’re between jobs or currently unemployed & looking for a new job. What you do for a living is more than just what job pays your bills too, It’s just as important to have leisure activities or volunteer work that you enjoy. What if you had a job as a cashier at a convenience store? Do you think that work would really define you as a person? Maybe it would pay your rent, but your friendships & other things that make you happy would still be important for defining what you do for a living. (I have 2 Facebook friends who work at gas station convenience stores, but they both have so much more to their lives than that.)

    You are not worthless. You just need to realize the things you’re good at – such as photography & writing. Blogging isn’t really for the people who read your blog either. It’s for you. It helps to organize your thoughts & feelings as you get them out of our head & onto the page.

    Hope is something that comes & goes & comes back again, so you don’t have to be hopeless. Hang in there & focus on whatever small things help you feel better,

    Good Luck & virtual hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks in advance! 😀 or, well, my birthday is in an hour now.
      That’s a nice tradition! I’ll try to make that work!
      I haven’t looked into volunteering here, maybe I should have. Maybe I will!
      You’re right, work doesn’t define me. I just don’t feel comfortable living on disability when I’m not disabled, and I don’t want people to think I’m “disabled”.

      thank you for taking the time to write a long message! Very much appreciated, not just saying that. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

  2. what’s worse than turning 26? turning 27 in about 6 months!
    But it’s interesting enough to know someone on the other half of the earth feels the same about birthdays as you do, some feelings are not affected by geography I guess. And this helped me to feel a bit happier in my coming birthday, cuz now I know being upset near birthdays is not just for Iranians! see! You aren’t that worthless 🙂
    Happy birthday 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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