boop

I just took a shower and I feel great. I dunno, I think it’s the zoloft as well as the exercise. I’m back to going to the gym 6 days a week, mostly cardio. Weightlifting doesn’t seem interesting, I want to do it, I want to have normal sized muscles for a man instead of having nonexistent ones, but eeeeeeeeh…it’s so boring, whereas running is fun and feels great and rowing is tolerable.

And I’m back on zoloft, think I’ll stay on it permanently this time. I might be ok without it for a while, but eventually, I just get disturbed by things and thoughts and then that’s all I can think about all day every day. I take zoloft and I become much less depressed and more “sane” about the things I’m depressed about

and now it’s hours later, I forgot I was writing this

I should have mentioned I’ve moved into my new apartment. I like it here. It’s not depressing, it’s not a coffin, it’s newly renovated, the walls are light and there are windows letting light in. It makes a big difference, I should never have taken the previous apartment, that place was hell

oh, in two days the green party thing is taking place but I don’t think I’m going, I think I’m staying at my mom’s with my sister. And I don’t know how many people will show up there. What if it’s just me? or what if it’s just a handful of other people? It’s a small, fringe party. I looked at some events they’d done and usually less than 10 people attended. I do not like that.

Still no idea what to do with my life

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2 thoughts on “boop

  1. Yay! I’m so glad you’re feeling ok for a change. I’ve been feeling more normal the last few days too. I started to blog about it, but was using a public library Wi-Fi & had to leave to get something to eat.

    I realized that I feel more normal when I get away from the house I’m still sharing with the crazy housemate. The only reliably strong Wi-Fi I’ve been able to find is at the public libraries, & they aren’t open on Sundays or Mondays or for the whole day the rest of the week. I finally went to the one closest to our house, so I can come here to get online in a safe, calm, air-conditioned place. I left my laptop at home today though, so I can only be online here for 1 hour.

    I’m starting to work on getting a job, then hopefully a new place to live. It’s so stressful at home for me, that it’s hard to do the work I need to do there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! thanks! 😀
      Yeah getting away from that hellhole sounds like a good idea. Closed on mondays, what the hell?

      Glad you’re looking for work, hopefully you find something that make your days a little better in addition to paying bills. You could just do what you need to do away from home (like at the library), no? Maybe that’s what you’re doing.

      In NYC they had many areas, parks and square where you could sit down and use free wifi. Here in Bergen there’s wifi at Fløyen and the light rail (though you gotta be on it). Maybe similar deals around your town?

      Like

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