I just took a shower and I feel great. I dunno, I think it’s the zoloft as well as the exercise. I’m back to going to the gym 6 days a week, mostly cardio. Weightlifting doesn’t seem interesting, I want to do it, I want to have normal sized muscles for a man instead of having nonexistent ones, but eeeeeeeeh…it’s so boring, whereas running is fun and feels great and rowing is tolerable.
And I’m back on zoloft, think I’ll stay on it permanently this time. I might be ok without it for a while, but eventually, I just get disturbed by things and thoughts and then that’s all I can think about all day every day. I take zoloft and I become much less depressed and more “sane” about the things I’m depressed about
and now it’s hours later, I forgot I was writing this
I should have mentioned I’ve moved into my new apartment. I like it here. It’s not depressing, it’s not a coffin, it’s newly renovated, the walls are light and there are windows letting light in. It makes a big difference, I should never have taken the previous apartment, that place was hell
oh, in two days the green party thing is taking place but I don’t think I’m going, I think I’m staying at my mom’s with my sister. And I don’t know how many people will show up there. What if it’s just me? or what if it’s just a handful of other people? It’s a small, fringe party. I looked at some events they’d done and usually less than 10 people attended. I do not like that.
Still no idea what to do with my life