This article is ridiculous

20 Non-Awkward Ways to Meet People While Traveling Solo

For better or worse, Facebook is the dominant social network in the world, and that makes it incredibly useful for finding people to meet abroad. Start by searching for “My friends who live in [destination city or country]” (type it into the top bar) to see who you’re already connected to in the area.

These people assume that I not only have friends, but that I have so many friends I don’t even know who they are and where they live!

3. Partner Dancing

Blues, salsa, swing, and Argentine tango: the world of partner dancing is robust, inclusive of beginners, and a shockingly easy way to meet new people in almost any large city.

I DO NOT DANCE. I have never and will never.

6. Online Dating

The key thing to know about online dating websites and apps like OkCupid and Tinder is:

Fuck you for even saying the word “tinder.”  Now you’ve got me thinking how unconscionable and blatantly shallow this society is

…you can use these tools to genuinely connect with neat-looking people…

*facepalm* fuck you and everything you stand for.

Ok so we got the ridiculous/offensive stuff out of the way. The article does have some good suggestions, let’s look at some of them:

18. Hostels

…one the least awkward places to strike up a random conversation. Do this by hanging out in the common rooms and kitchen, offering to help cook a group meal, sitting in the lobby reading an interesting-looking book…

A good suggestion. For a normal person. For someone who’s had plenty of experience talking to and befriending people, and because of this is perfectly capable of carrying conversations with people and bonding with them. This is not me. I never had any friends. I haven’t had friends since I was 12. Wait, there was the girl in the hospital when I was 15. I’ve noticed it got worse after I lost my online friends. Before, it was already a major obstacle, I had a lot of work to do to be able to talk to and befriend people in any sort of normal fashion. After, it’s been hard even online. I lose interest in people quickly. I don’t trust them.
When people tried to talk to me in New York, even fleetingly, it just wasn’t happening. I was uncomfortable and just wanted it to end. The person I was sitting next to at the Late Show was very friendly and outgoing (she got pulled up on stage) and I just responded to her dismissively. Seemingly healthy, happy people talked to me in the park, I think to one of them I didn’t really respond at all when they made a joke and I felt terrible about it because I’d love to meet and bond with people at that place, my Happy Place. There are people who try, especially in the US (not so much in Norway), but I’ve no experience with it and old confidence issues caused by bullying in my teens are hard to shake. It may be a lack of interest caused by distrust.

Wow look at that wall of text. What I meant to say is, even in ideal situations, striking up random conversation (and maintaining that conversation, to the point where we can add each other on social media and become friends) is near impossible. Actually, scratch “near”.


15. TravBuddy

A website designed specifically for help travelers meet each other, TravBuddy boasts more than 500,000 users — both travelers and locals — who seem to be active in even the most remote corners of the globe. $10 lifetime access fee.

Wow, hadn’t heard of, that sounds pretty neat! 500 000 worldwide is NOT a lot of members, though.

8. Volunteering

YES! I am interested!

1. Couchsurfing

nah man


3 thoughts on “This article is ridiculous

  1. It’s great that you made an effort to talk with strangers when you were traveling. I think conversations can get awkward when we feel insecure. Social niceties help a little, but it still takes work & time to really connect with people.

    I went to a pagan fair this weekend & also felt alone. I talked with one friend who I know already, but after a few minutes I wanted to get away from him too. I’ve got so many emotional & situational issues I’m trying to deal with, but he wanted to give me advice on trying to get a job. I politely said, “Good idea. I’ll look into that”, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

    At one point when I was sitting by a tree, a young girl made an effort to be friendly with me, which I appreciated. We didn’t exchange names or have a deep conversation though. I just watched the children playing in the tree & commented about one who climbed high into it.

    Getting a reading or asking advice on something to buy is a good way to have a kind of conversation, but it’s not an attempt to make a friend. It’s part of a commercial transaction. The reader or vendor has to act social in order to sell his wares. I don’t expect them to remember who I am later if I see them again. I noticed that even running a ritual was part of one woman’s plan to drum up business for herself, because she gave out her business card to everyone who participated.

    I guess I’m lucky that I can play the role of a socially comfortable person, while not really feeling socially comfortable. I’m ok with sitting by myself & watching others. I’m ok with walking the same path, looking at the same items for sale, over & over again. I’m ok with experiencing a place or event essentially alone, without real friends beside me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wish I could be like that, too.
      “I’ve got so many emotional & situational issues I’m trying to deal with, but he wanted to give me advice on trying to get a job.”
      That sucks you couldn’t enjoy the pagan fair. You got anyone you could talk to about the things you really want to talk about?

      “We didn’t exchange names or have a deep conversation though.” There’s something really sad about that. How you meet so many people you have pleasant interactions with like that who you’ll never meet again. Sorry, I’m being emo lol.

      Never gotten a reading before. True, they’re ways to interact on some level and exercise your voice but they don’t feel rewarding to me when it’s just someone doing their job. I googled “running a ritual” and I’m none the wiser 😀 but I assume it’s some wiccan or pagan practice?

      Hope you are well. It annoys me I don’t get notifications when you blog, I am following you O.o

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There may be someplace where you have to check that you want to be notified, but it does seem like when you’re following someone, WordPress should let you know when they post.

        I bought 2 kinds of incense at he fair for getting rid of a troublesome roommate. Perhaps they worked, but this morning our landlord gave all 3 of us 30 day eviction notices. I protested that I hadn’t done anything wrong. He said “I know. I’m sorry.” He’s decided he want to get rid of all 3 of us, so he can rent the house to a family instead of individual roommates. We’re probably all going to fight the eviction, but this is so unfair & horrible.

        The ritual was a small one for personal empowerment, a small group of people standing in a circle, reciting a chant, then the woman in charge faced each one to give him/her personal advice. It was pretty simple.


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