It’s been a year

A year ago I’d been in Denver for 2-3 days. Feels like a decade ago. I’ve changed so much. And I don’t think I’ve changed for the better. Everything is just dark all the time. I’ve no faith in anything.

I’d no idea what a disaster cutting short my new life in the US would be.

I’d no idea my friends would make it worse rather than better, that they didn’t care and wouldn’t stay. Wouldn’t miss me. Wouldn’t wonder how I was, where I was, what I was doing with my life.

I’d no idea I’d lose myself and my future and kill any sense of purpose I might have had

I’m looking into apartments in Glasgow now, they’re so cheap. But then I move to Glasgow and then what? I find some low paying job and then what? Maybe I take some courses or certificates to get a better paying job, but then what? What reason do I have to live?

it’s 5:06 a.m.


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